


Wrong

by miniaturemice



Category: That was Then This is NowS. E Hinton, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Drinking, Drunken Confessions, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-20
Updated: 2012-06-20
Packaged: 2017-11-08 04:20:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/439086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miniaturemice/pseuds/miniaturemice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cathy's having a few drinks with the boys. What happens when she lets slip more than any of them wanted to know?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wrong

  I dragged Cathy along on my arm. She was a little tipsy and giggling. I'm not sure which surprised me more, that she was tipsy or that she ever drank. As we staggered up the front steps(I thanked Up There I didn't touch the drink Terry offered earlier)the door swung open and Two-Bit looked down on us, a grin across his face.

 "Pony! You're back early!" he said, by way of greeting. 

 "Cathy's drink got spiked." I explained, sighing. We went inside and Two-Bit closed the door.

 The living room was crowded with the usual gang. (With the exception of Johnny and Dallas. I tried not to think too hard about it. The pain was still raw.)

 Steve and Soda were playing cards and Darry was reading the paper like normal. There were cans messily stacked on the table and I had a feeling it was Two-Bit's work. Steve looked at Cathy and gave a smart-ass remark. He's been doing that ever since I started going out with Cathy. I ignored it and turned to Darry who gave me a disapproving frown. I hurried to tell him that it was just a spiked drink.

 Although Darry and I got along better now, there were still times when things were just as tense as before.It never lasted long. After what happened, I don't think either of us would let any grudge sit for too long. With the way things were nowadays, Darry kept a tight leash on me. I was allowed to drink but never too much. Not like I ever will, I've seen too much of what drinking can do. Just look at Johnny's folks. 

 I left Cathy on the sofa with Two-Bit who was cracking open another can and took a shower. Parties always make me feel sticky all over which means I have to shower often ever since I met Mark. He was tuff, getting me into parties and stuff. Darry didn't like Mark and neither did Soda but they didn't understand, Mark made me forget sometimes about everything last year. It was sad to see him the way he is now.

 Anyway ,I guess it was a mistake leaving Cathy with Two-Bit 'cause when I came back, I found her sobbing and hugging Two-Bit. Two-Bit looked uncomfortable, patting her slowly on the back.

"Wha-?" I started but then Darry explained Two-Bit gave Cathy a couple more cans. He narrowed his eyes at Two-Bit. 

"Oh. That's okay then," I thought but then Cathy hiccupped loudly and slurred, "I don't know anymore. I'm just so mixed up. About Bryon and Mark and M&M and everything." she wailed.

 I froze. I've never seen Cathy drink before , let alone get drunk. The boys were giving me sympathetic looks but I didn't care. I thought she was over Bryon already. She told me she was.

  "I loved Bryon, you know? I talked to him and he got it all. He was like everything to me. He was my first. _Hiccup_. First everything. I know I'm with Pony but I can't help it. I just can't forget Bryon and then, I remember what he did to Mark. For me. And my heart just breaks. They were like brothers, I tell you. I never liked Mark and he didn't like me any either. We always fought whenever Bryon left us alone. He said I was making his brother hate him and all these mean things about how I was changing him, giving him ideas. We fought real bad sometimes and once he nearly slapped me when I said Bryon didn't like him anymore than I did and he was just trying to louse us up. I regret that. And the truth is maybe he was right. But now, I'm not with Bryon anymore but I still love him but its too late, he look so sad all the time and it's my fault. Everything's wrong and I can't make it right. He never used to look so sad. He used to smile all the time like he knew something he knew I wanted to know and I liked that. He kissed real good too. Said it was fine that I didn't know how to and that on me, it was cute. I don't think he thinks that anymore. But I can still hear him say he loves me during all those nights but I don't think he does anymore...and I wish sometimes I was still with Bryon and not with Pony but I'm not..."

 Cathy stumbled over her words, struggling for raspy breaths.

 What she said hurt me but I knew it hurt her even more. Cathy closed her eyes then and I just knew we had to break up. Maybe it would be sad but it would be for the better.

 "Pony?" Darry asked carefully and I looked up to see everybody with the exception of a passed out Cathy looking at me.

  "I'm okay, you guys." I said, forcing a smile. Maybe it was for the better but I still don't feel very good about it. "It looks like we were both lying. We both weren't really weren't out for much more than just each other."

 It made no sense but we all got it. And as I looked Cathy, saw everybody's face, pitying me and felt my own strange detachment from all of this, I knew too that I didn't really love Cathy, not really. Not love. Something lesser. Even now, I don't know how I could have mistaken it for love. She loved Bryon and I didn't know if Bryon loved her back but I know I don't. I never did. She was just another girl I liked 'cause she was cute and had a bit more sense than the others but I didn't love her. Not really. Not like she clearly loved Bryon and not like that night I said it to just say something. Not really.

 She was just a warm body and I hated thinking that because she should have, _could_ have meant more but she didn't. We were only together out of fear of being alone. And that was all there was to it.

 When I broke up with Cathy finally a few nights later,she asked me why. And I don't know why but I said, "You love Bryon, not me."

 She was looking out of the window so I wasn't able to see her expression. I waited for her to deny it, hoping stupidly that maybe I was wrong. But so what if I was? Would I take it back? 

 I wouldn't.

 But I suppose it was for nothing anyway. She didn't say anything ansd turned back to face me, eyes shiny.

 "Take me home," she said.

  I drove her back home and we didn't say anything the whole time.She got out of the car while I stared ahead, feeling a strange mixture of sadness and relief. I thought she was going to walk away without saying goodnight but instead, she leaned in and whispered an apology.

 "I'm sorry,Ponyboy."

 As I drove back home, I thought about all those past months of pretending for both us and felt sorry too.

**Author's Note:**

> So this was one of the first Outsiders fic I wrote. I wrote it back when I was 14. I've cleaned it up and edited a little. The original is on my ff.net account.


End file.
